告别

人生难免会有悲欢离合，
我们的相遇给了我很多欢乐，
但却带给了你很多麻烦。。
一直付出的你，换来我的冷漠。
道歉也无补于事。。。

这次的分离，带给大家的伤害不小，
在努力着痊愈时，不舍得的感觉越来越强烈。
但是后悔已经来不及了。。。
也许你觉得我说谎，毕竟我不像会后悔。
但是内心的我，已经无数次地崩溃。

忠诚地祝福你，尽早痊愈，
我们重新开始，朋友，你好！


深深的爱过，
嘉仪。。

放弃。。。。。。

在适当的时候是从新再来。。







让自己冷静，想想吧。。。不要再错了。。。

我伤了人。。。

很矛盾。。。怎么办？？
那种心情。。。很乱。。。
仿佛杀了人一般。。。。

一直是恋爱中的我，
已忘了被人追的感觉。
是没有人喜欢我吗？
还是因为我不是单身？
没关系啦，我只是多余想想而已。。
我不介意没人追。。哈哈。。。

在短短的24小时内，
我让一个人从新爬起来，
同时让他跌下地狱。。
我也不想。。。真的。。。
我们没有可能的。

我已声明我有男友了，
我已明确告诉他我们的问题，
他改不了，我也接受不了，
就算我没有男友，
我们也不会在一起的。。。
我不能接受这样的男生。。。

很久没被人追，也很久没拒绝人了。。
这一次把我带回第一次给人追的时候，
我最害怕拒绝人了。。。
我不想伤害对方。。。
因为第一次拒绝了一个人，
把他给害了。。。
第二次给人追，又拒绝了，又害了那个人。。
为什么要那么颓废？？
我不是所有啊！！！

到后来，我不敢再拒绝人了。。。
因为我不想再害人了。。。
无论有感觉没感觉，我一样接受。。。
当时的我变得很辛苦。。。
这次，我真的非拒绝不可。。。
我也不想伤害他的。。。

不要误会，
我不是喜欢他。。。
我根本对他没感觉。。。
加上我们根本是两个世界的人。。。
无论我是单身还是恋爱中，
我们很明显不能在一起嘛。。。

他说他是认真的，我也很认真啊。。。
只是我们的认真根本不相同。。
他显然很伤心。。。
他已放弃了我们相遇的地方，
不再回去了。。
我不希望这样的事情发生。。。
因为那是我们很愉快的天地。
（不止我和他，还有别人的。。。）

不要弄我烦好不好？？
我们结束了，也许朋友都做不成。。
我又害了人。。我又伤了人。。。
对不起，祝你找到自己的幸福。。。
接受你会让我伤心，
就放我走吧，我已有我的生活。。
一个属于我开心的生活。。。

好讨厌。。。算了。。。。不管了。。。
是我决定他的伤心？？今天而已吧。。。
唉，真的算了。。。

伤了人的我，
cynthia......

累

不是因为不够睡

而是因为那种无法解释的空虚。。。


我需要的，你们是给到的，
只是你们不了解我在表达的东西。。。




*无金小姐*

。。。。。。。

最近不懂是不是累过头，竟然会犯下那么愚蠢的错误！！！
可能常熬夜温习，加上很多零零碎碎地事情烦着我。。。
我知道我不该在考试时想那些无厘头的事，
但是我放不下，仿佛每件事都有关联。。。

不是我故意隐瞒我的心事，
我只是不想分享。。
想找一个合心水的人开解我。。。
其实是有如此的对象，不过我没胆量开口！！
总觉得我们的关系不到应该让你来开导我的程度，
但是我真的想不到还有谁像你一样。。。
我知道你有你的事情要烦，
所以不敢找你。。。

每当一不开心，就会想写东西。。。
部落格成为了我发泄的地方，
有时会觉得看我的稿的人好惨，
因为我的稿都很不乐观。。。
开心的人都可能变不开心。。。
就是写不出开心事。。。
可能因为我喜欢把开心的东西与别人分享，
所以用嘴巴讲个不停。。哈哈。。。
至于伤心事嘛。。。。。。不想别人陪我悲哀，

也许真的累了。。。我已变得越来越情绪化，
动不动就会流眼泪，证明我真的累垮了。。
因为常常我无缘无故低落时，
都只有两个可能性，就是：
1。 过度疲惫，累垮了
2。 不愉快的事情发生
这次的我够衰，两个都中。。。
人生嘛，难免会有不愉快的事。。。

可以让我安稳地睡吗？？
我需要好好的休息。。。
同时需要另一种的关怀，
那种我无法向大家解释的关怀。。。
腰骨因为受不了疲劳而开始闹脾气，
乖吧，我也很辛苦。。。不想吃药叻。。。

救命啊。。。。几时才可以让我放松自己？？
[p/s: 有没有人可以帮我按摩？？哈哈。。。]
可不可以有个宽大的肩膀让我靠？？
顿时觉得缺乏安全感，很空虚。。。
我到底怎么了？？？？？？？？


崩溃，内心的小女人。。

情绪

最近情绪不稳定。。。
很多事情很烦。。。
好想找人诉苦，却找不到对的人。。
也许不想让他们赔我烦恼吧。。

她（1），是我的好友，但我找不到理由跟她谈心，
希望她好好考试吧。。得空陪陪她的他。。。

她（2），也算是我的好友，但最近越来越少联络，
考试之余，她也要陪男友，我也不想跟她说。。

他（1），不想再让他烦我的事情，想靠自己解决，
毕竟身在不同地方，我的事他也很难解决。。

她们（3，4），是我烦恼的，我有事就关心一下，
第二天当什么都没发生过，是有封简讯，不代表什么。。

他（2），陪了我近三个小时，没想过会和他谈，因为不想烦他。。。
谁知道。。。从我的问题变谈到别的地方，
好像没这样跟他谈话过。。哈哈。。谢谢他开解我。。。

他（3），虽然不是很熟，但是在那么多人之中，竟会想到找他。
也许因为他和我有相同之处吧。。。

还有很多给了我意见的人，非常感谢你们关心我。。
尤其是那三个他。。。哈哈。。。


惭愧+后悔+笨得我。。。

UBK

Unit Bimbingan dan Kaunseling


Unforgettable memories in UBK...
Miss the days i join UBK with my best friends..
Met new friends, become very close as days pass by..
Some quit because of some reasons..
New people join the group...


Still remember the days we are in camp...
Kuala Kubu Bharu, Ulu Yam, Trolak, Taman Negara
I love the time we have camp in Taman Negara..
The problem with the chalet i satyed with my best friends.
Then we slept in juniors' room...


From a member become AJK then President
Organizing camps and helping in seminars and talks
Working and having fun at the same time.
Our edufair and camp is fun!!


The most unforgettable is when the Lower 6 came in...
I was form 5 and holding the president position..
Then came in few "seniors" which become our "juniors"
Haha... it was fun working with them....


Can we have a gathering for all UBK members??
I really miss you all....
Miss the days where seniors juniors get together gossiping...

drawings

start march, stop june...
just before we enroll into uni..

i like the drawings...
so meaningful and romantic..
hope she sees it,
although i dunno who is she,
where she are, and what happen..

you rocks man..
friends forever!! cheers..

uni life 1

Orientation week over
First day of class...
still not very familiar with this uni
except the class and mall...
got to know new friends here
everyone so friendly, happy

so sorry to my dearest senior, wai seng
cos help me find books and this and that..
I'm lucky having good seniors,
but he is unlucky having me this junior
HaHaHaHa.....

and ken guan also, mafan him to send my things up
haha... but the comforter really useful
night time abit cold especially when it rains...

got to get into a gang of 6 (including me)
ting, xian, yin, ang, may and me!!!
3 from selangor, 1 kuantan, 1 penang, 1 johor..
3 pairs roommate... everyone very cute...

my new pres and that banana fren also quite funny..
erm, good to bully... keke...

fah, i really hope u can adapt to the situation there
actually UUM not really better anyway,
but for me i think i like this place very much la..
although it is a "jungle", but the scenery here quite ok
when walk around feels like a park.. (it is a park)

if u say sien, here also sien de...
my college de wireless rosak le, can only go computer lab...
laptop bring also no use... and u must have a group like me..
from diff places also ok de ma...
make new frens... haha...

will update more, and so sorry cant msg u or call u...
too busy with the school... walking to classes
1 east 1 west de... walk everyday...

tata... love ur uni...

Leave...

UUM, here i come....

really hope i can adapt to this uni....

memang jungle i heard.. haha...

but still my first choice ma...

my dear, u went UMS le...

hope everything is alright...

dun be so angry la...

maybe KK wasnt the best after all

labuan might be suitable for u de gua...

my daughter... must take care o...

love u..

correction

aiyo, correction... mk going local uni... paiseh..
then forgot xin yi and yeng yeng.... NUS or NTU...
haih.... dunno la... have to start preparing le lo...

July 19

Uni result out in july....
fah said it was on the 19th!!!!!
most probably get UUM de...
That's what most senior say..

Some fren went into private uni le...
feng and ying went "shanghai"
then makie, sheng and tl going into private uni also...
suchen, au in inti le...
nick and chingyin in segi.... [makie also]
zk and mk also leh...

maybe somemore i dunno de la...
almost half of the class went to private uni le...
so geng leh!!!

Waiting, waiting and waiting...
have to prepare for uni le lo...
to my frens, all the best!!!

sorry

i'm so sorry i hurt u thru that post,

u misunderstand what i write ok..

i understand u wont be forgiving me...

but i really did hope we can be fiends again

so many years... i admit... u were a very good friend...

but when i wrote that post, these things did happen

i was espressing my sadness and anger...

how would i include the sweet memories also??

i just hope u understand...

and he is definitely nothing to do with us,

what he said and what he did is different story..

i really hope u will understand...

i dunno who told u that kind of comment,

but they are not me, they doesnt know how i feel..

i'm so sorry, i know i hurt u deeply

at that time i was so stress with my work,

this things happen.. i wrote that post

then all came together to become a good story

i swear i din mean it...

sorry

cynthia

不爽

I'm totally sick of u
speechless..

EMO-ing

dunno why is it like that
dunno who u are
dunno who i am
dunno wat to say
dunno wat to do
dunno everything

emo
cyn

SAGA vs WIRA

Went to OUG pasar malam just now and saw this interesting 'match'
1 uncle in wira and 1 aunty in saga came face to face at the lorong
Should be either 1 party give way, reverse de
but both doesnt seems to be tolerating

aunty move infront to scare the uncle
got name call uncle means wont be scared la
so they were competing using horn and flash lights.
So interesting... Me, fah and my bro were the audience
38 de us, but there are other ppl also, kepoh lo

Both old ppl keep entertaining us for like 5 minutes
and like football match, we started to bet on who will be the one to reverse
rm10, 2 guys say the uncle will reverse but i think is the aunty
throughout the 5 mins, the uncle so yeng sit there read newspaper
many cars stop at the junction then drove off (not free to compete)

then suddenly the saga's reverse light lighted...
i was so happy.... RM20 leh.... But she reverse a little bit then stop
so we think go buy things 1st lo
the kepoh fah so eager to know the real result
so we decided he continue the show while me and my bro go buy drinks

Haha... almost 10 mins the match lasted
Our reporter, Fah, came back with the result..
Aunty reverse at last which means i won!!!!!!!!!!
But all so 'friend' so din really ask for the money la...
So funny, so interesting de show... haha!!

10 mins, end of story...
continue pasar malam...

** cynthia **

宝贝的故事

** 坏人 & 我聽見有人叫你寶貝 **

重复听了这两首歌好多次，
非常喜欢。。非常有意义
也许歌词与我有关吧
如果这两首歌在几年前打得那么红
我应该会很茅盾

因为当初的我是个好人，也是坏人
带给他们快乐；最后伤害了他们
回想从前，我是个三心两意的女生
花心吗？？朋友说只是多心。。

在同时间有着两个男朋友
大家都很快乐，没人知道对方的存在
有时却觉得自己很坏。。
直到遇见了这个好好人
不管我对他多么坏，到最后我们还是和好

后来就这样在一起那么久，快两年了！！
有时想要疼他多一点，但都变成我被疼多点
很多人都懂他不是我的百分百理想情人
问我为什么会和他在一起
刚开始，坦白说，我也想着若找到一个更好的
就会结束了这段感情。。

后来，经过多种“考验”
终于发现其实就算百分百外表合格
应该没有人的心会比他强了
总之，珍惜眼前人最重要！！

谢谢爱过我的人，让我成长了。。
更要谢谢爱着我的人，让我感到温暖。。



宝贝，嘉仪。。

Memories of our friendship... 10 years le..

3M..... it was in 1999....
10 years ago...
i dont quite remember that year...
i dont know why...
we were just 9 years old... maybe

2000, i'm suppose to be in std 4,
but i got thru PTS, went to std 5...
i think that's how we lost contact...
there goea 2001-2005

2006, through a fren, i met them...
ten, chong, hon kin, dwei, boon, keng lun...
then i know u.... yh....
how we met?? forget liao lo... haha
and we did not talk b4...

2007, as we were not really frens,
ntg happen this year...

2008, CHS form 6...
i'm in Upper 6,
U came into Lower 6...
i dint know.. Until.........
i saw u in my classroom with kwan seng..
preparing for the drama lah....
then just hi-bye kinda fren le...

2009, CHS again...
i always go back CHS, for guides..
sometimes meet u somewhere in CHS,
normal lah... u still in Upper 6 ma..
then majlis anugerah cemerlang..
u told me that we were classmates...
3M!!!! OMG, u remember??
Well, we are still frens... haha
just more things to talk..


Frens forever,
Cheers yh,
--your fren, cyn**

MRI scan

Went for MRI scan last thursday,
The machine very noisy,
And the 'sound effect' very scary...

Took me almost 1/2 hour and cost me RM 700
Althought my mom paid for it...

Then went back to the doctor (western),
And confirm slip disc at lumbar part L4/5
Gave me some medcine (which i hate)
Then paid RM 89 again...

Now, cant do any sport,
No running, no jumping....
And cant carry any heavy things...
Should not eat sour things....
But it is my favourite..

Now can only take medicine,
take care myself more...
Go for acupunture,
listen to the doctor...

Going Australia Gold Coast,
Cant play lots of things....
Just pray hard i get well soon...

Thx au...
Actually u quite gd also de..
Haha....


**sick**
cynthia

Back Pain

My back pain came back hunting me since last thursday
Wanted to take emergency leave at 3pm that day but failed...
thanks to my new colleague...

Rushing to the hospital after 4,
end up it was closed....
So.... Take EL again for friday...
Went to hospital, acupuncture again... plus suction...
Then the doctor say suspect might have slip disc...
Ask me go for CT scan which cost 300 ringgit..

CT scan, what is it??
Tan tan say no need afraid wo...
I must believe my cute nurse fren de...
But i still think very expensive la...

1 week more to gold coast leh...
Somemore sit in the Air Asia for 7 hrs..
I must get well!!!!!
I want go there sit the rides larr...
If not no point going what...

Hope the result of the scan shows that i'm healthy...
Hehe... But why am i having back pain then??
Erm... leave it to the doctors.. Haha...


--thia--

Stresssssss........

working damn tired and stress....
time limit so tight....
expectation so high....
WALAO.... how to do o???

I'm resigning soon... end of March
Still thinking what should i do after i come back from my camp and vacation...
Haih........

Dont feel like sitting at home...
Damn sien le...
And the uni thing...
very confusing la...

Business Admin not good... (ppl say)
Finance only offered by few uni...
Scholarship have to choose overseas...
havent got into uni ady feel the uni stress...
OMG... i'm gonna die soon...


--thia--

besties??

At last... u admitted everything...

What i thought of for so long..

It came true...

But do you really think i'm the 1 who will gossip around?

Am i this kind of fren in your heart?

I'm confused, for how you treated me...

I might not be as smart as "AS",

not as pretty and atractive.

i'm not saying that she is bad or what..

Just we are both your fren,

but the way you treat both of us is totally different.

If you really think that i'm your best fren,

please give some responds.

Not being like now

NO care, no contact...

I've already done my part,

Keep contact u, ask you out.

Or u want me to drive to your house?

Knock on your door?

You manage to go out with ur R gang,

they are your best frens i know...

but just once in a while we go out

for a cup of tea...

is it really hard for you??

Just hope u can come out next tuesday.

That is what i hope most.

---thia---

T & C Apply.....

T & C = Terms and condition??
Actually it is Tired & Confused....

I'm tired and confused on alot of things..

First of all, i really cant make up my mind to choose which uni and what course...
But will seek for advice and guidance...
HELP!!!!!!

Secondly, i really dont understand what are u thinking...
I tried to ask you out, but there's always excuses...
i thought you told me before "If you are willing, then can de.."
So what now? Am i suppose to say that to you??

Thirdly, i'm tired with my job...
So stressful for me... Haih...
But gained alot of experience....

Lastly, i think i'm exhausted....
Kinda emo these days... Like cant control my emotions de...
Really calling for help...

Chiaos....
Thia ***

Working

first day of work.....
and last day....

it is a one day part time job as a receptionist...
in a bank...
German Bank...
DEUTSCHE BANK....

the ppl here are all in office
i wont see anyone unless they walk out of the rooms...
haha

quite fun and relax today
1st day of school (i dun have to go to school)
not many ppl called (so i quite free)
and nothing to do except picking up calls and transfering them...

the funniest part is the original receptionist kena food poisoning
then aunty shem called me at 11 stg at nite asking me to help
then today no one knows how to use the phone
the IT man also blur blur

me, my agent marianne and the IT man
trying to call ppl, transfer call,
then fail, then try again...
calling ppl...
haha
and those ppl we called dunno wat happen
blur blur de...

the ppl very nice...
no one scold me -- i din do anything wrong
but still nervous... 1st time working ma...

working time from 9 to 6,
lunch break from 1 to 2,
dunno wat to eat... haha...
ended up with coffee bean... SWT!!!

8 hrs working = RM80...
(lunch break taken away)

the worst part of this job is finding names and extension...
the list only A4 size but the word so small...
so many ppl's name....OMG
but still manage to find the names for most of the ppl la...

here can online check mail, but cannot msn...
high class company ma...
thats y i very sien when ppl dun call...
haha
but if ppl call very fan
cos hv to find the ext and transfer call asap

marianne said that this bank thinks that image very important
so have to make up... out on lipstick...
and have to wear formal attire...
WOW.... so scary...

k la... work first....